As a single you often hear that you learn so much about yourself while single. Well while you are actually single, that learning process can be not so fun at times. It's like those who tell you that usually are in a relationship. Lol. At first, you may feel like "yeah you say this now that you HAVE somebody", but they are really dropping that knowledge on us singles. They are speaking from their experience and from both sides of the spectrum. So take advantage of it.They know the ups and downs of BOTH being single and in a relationship.
These 3+ years have definitely been one for the books! When I ended my last relationship, I just knew I would at least be engaged by now lol. But that isn't my story and that is okay. We can't allow the world's "time clock" to make us feel a certain type of way if things don't happen by a certain age. In all reality the gift of marriage isn't promised to all of us; and that is still is something I have to be real about. Don't get me wrong it is something that I desire, but I cant let it be the main focal point in my mind.
I've been through pretty much every season a single could go through. From always having someone in ya phone as a "back up" to having theeee driest line ever lol To being so focused on getting a husband that you are being low key thirsty... to completely dismissing every thought of a relationship. But today I can say that I am finally in a place where I am content in my singleness. * insert praising hands* lol. Is it always easy? Ummmm no. But it is possible. Trust me if I can do it, you can too!
Check out some lessons I've learned on this journey
Trust in God
Even though I don't know what is up ahead, I do know who is. I believe the Lord takes a lot of people through this season to really show them who He REALLY is. It is just up to us to invite him in to show us. As a single, I have slowly seen why God has kept me hidden during this time. Now that I look back on the growth and the things that I've learned, I know where I am is the best for me.
"What's worth having is worth waiting for. Be patient and wait on God"
When trusting in God you must also trust in his timing which requires faith and patience. And with that you have to be sure not to try and go ahead of God and do your own thing. You must learn not to awaken love before you are ready. (Song of Solomon 8:4). When we do things in our own strength we are potentially messing up what God wants to do which is so much better.
Beauty in having no distractions
When you are a person who has constantly been surrounded by distractions, you need that time to yourself to reflect. This was something that I didn't know that I needed until I became content. To have time by myself was foreign to me, because I pretty much always "had"
someone. When you are in a relationship, of course you learn about yourself. But when you are single you really get to dig deep into the real you without having someone in the picture, and that really is a beautiful thing.
*Development is KEY*
Figuring out who I am
Before getting into any relationship, knowing or at least on the verge of knowing your purpose should be in your mind. You can't fully give yourself to someone else, if you don't know who you are. This is applied to every aspect of your life; spiritual, mental, emotional etc. Learn what you like and what your values are. Your morals and values are what shape you into who you are and who you want to be. I am now aware that the actions that I take today will ultimately effect the people connected to me now and in my future. During this time I must consider questions like what type of marriage do I desire and what type of example do I wanna show my children? Remember unless you know why God put you on this Earth to accomplish you can't help someone else accomplish theirs.
Figuring out what I really want
As you mature things in your life changes, and one of those things is your desires. Your ideal mate when you were 15, most likely isn't the same when you are 25. Establishing a foundation for myself and what I want in a relationship has been on the top of my list. Who you choose to marry isn't something that should be taken lightly. Just like many things in this life we have a choice, so you are the one who chooses who you want to enter into covenant with, so choose wisely.
I am WORTHY
As a single, you are often faced with thoughts questioning if there's something wrong with you. Especially when you are surrounded by those who are in that beautiful season of their life. But as I've grown in my walk with Christ, I started to see myself the way he sees me. I am a treasure and so are you. You are the prize! My father has always instilled this in us, but during this time I finally grasped it . Don't sell yourself short, because you deserve the very best. The weight of worth that is on your life you can't even fathom.The one that desires to be with us, has to prove themselves. Don't feel bad for feeling this way, because you are the prize. A prize isn't just given to anyone. It has value and with that value it must be earned. You are a treasure, even if others didn't see you as one.
I am LOVED
No matter what I have or who is in my life, there is one who loves me to the fullest. I don't have to try and be someone else, because they just love me because they are love. My worth isn't found in a relationship status, but in the blood bought price that was placed on my life by Jesus.
...and finally IT WILL BE WORTH THE WAIT
What are some lessons you've learned as a single? I would love to hear about them.
Remember to stay beautiful inside & out!
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