Be real..are you really fine?


Hey girl hey!

To better connect with my readers, I do something called check in's. These check ins are where I see how you are doing.I really felt led to do check ins because it can be so easy to just go and go and not really assess how we are doing. Sometimes it takes someone to ask us how we are doing to really stop and think about it. Well the responses I get are amazing, because I'm able to pray and partner with others just like you.

If you don't get my check in emails, def make sure you are on my mailing list! You can do so by clicking here. My mailing list isn't just a hoard of emails, I actually connect with you guys, because we are on this #gloandgro journey together!

So with that being said, if someone were to ask how you were doing what would you say? Would you actually tell them what is going on or would you just give them an answer that would just mask what you were really feeling inside?

Often times we hide our true feelings because we think that people don't want to hear all of our "problems". You may have that thought that they are just asking to be cordial or it's just something that people say when greeting one another. It's the "right" thing to do and for the most part its just a natural thing to say. And I'll be honest I have found myself do it without even realizing. So when I was thinking about writing this post it made me more aware of how we as people just brush off our feelings sometimes. It's like we are in auto pilot.

What I've noticed especially as an adult is that people are saying this phrase "I'm doing good, if I complained no one would listen right?" more and more. And that is truly sad, because this shouldnt be such a common thing. What if we sincerely listened to what people had to say? I think how our world would be dramatically changed. Because often times, people just need a listening ear. They may not want you to fix their problem, they just may want to know that you are there for them.This is when I think about how open children are and free when you ask them how they are doing. If their fish died they will tell you and tell you how they are feeling lol.

#transparencymoment

I would consider myself to be a pretty private person naturally. I don't know how I got this way, but as I have grown in the Lord I have seen how being really private really doesn't help with things such asmy growth. Although I have grown tremendously in this area, I still struggle with that pull to keep things to myself. So for me when someone would ask me how I was doing "I'm fine" was my famous response. I did it because I didn't want to be open. POINT. BLANK. PERIOD. It was simple and it didn't require any explanation or further questioning into my life. I always used this as a way to avoid telling people how I felt or what was going on with me,so they wouldnt be in my "business". I felt like I could handle my issues on my own because they were my issues. Can you relate? In my mind bringing another person in wouldn't change anything. Now I am not saying to be suspicious if you are close to me and I say that I am fine. LOL More than likely I am exactly that, fine.

That point of vulnerability to let someone into your life and into your problems can be challenging. Like I said above, I was never the person that poured out all her business to everyone. I would only let you in as far as I wanted to. This was my way of "protecting" myself. But I have seen how that mindset was ultimately hurting me instead of protecting. How? Well because I would hold so much in that my emotions would just burst out, because I couldn't handle it on my own. Yep that means me just having emotional breakdowns out of nowhere..yeah it got that serious. I seen that when you are used to having a mask on for people, you begin to become disconnected with your true feelings. As I begin to assess my feelings more and dig deep, I noticed that really when you've buried your feelings for so long getting to the root of why you feel a certain way can be challenging. Because those feelings haven't been addressed before. But in order to glo and gro we have to be aware of our feelings and actually be sensitive to our needs.

Am I saying to spill everything to everyone in hopes to be more vulnerable? No, definitely not. You definitely have to use wisdom in whom you share things with. Not everyone should have access to you, remember that. However, the Lord puts people in your life to do life with you. They are there to help you through your life struggles, and I am soo grateful for those people He has placed in my life. If you don't have those types of people in your life ask the Lord to provide them and He will. Also pray for discernment and wisdom to know when those people come into your life. I am a living testament that He WILL provide those people for you.

As I grow to see the beauty in being vulnerable, I am seeing things in my life change. I am able to really dig deep to my feelings and emotions; because that is apart of self-care believe it or not. You are able to see things from a different perspective when you are vulnerable not just with others, but yourself and most importantly God. In His arms you are safe to be vulnerable. With Him is the safest space you could ever be. He doesn't care if you think you are spilling too much, He takes it all in and protects it. If you have had bad experiences with others taking your secrets public, just know God isnt like that.

As always stay beautiful inside and out

Shakiya


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